A Prophecy Fulfilled: My Underoos Weren't Lame After All

"No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes!" ---Mr. Incredible

We all have periods of our childhood that stand out. I can remember a time when villains wreaked havoc within the walls of my aunt's basement, and my cousins, my brother, and I fought valiantly against them to save the world from certain doom.

That basement was the lair of my imagination for many a day and night. It was the home to our very own Justice League of America (JLA). It was where kids ranged freely in their underwear fighting for right and good.

Many can remember what I am talking about; you know, the era of Under Roos. I had two pairs. Aquaman and Iron Man. Aquaman I could relate too, after all I am a Pisces. Now, Iron Man was a mystery to me, and he has remained so for decades.

My fellow JLA superheros consisted of Superman, Wonder Woman, Batman, and Flash. These heroes were well-known and their powers both admired and loathed.

Iron Man. Let's see a metallic figure that was really only bulletproof. Now, that's pretty lame I thought. I was always bummed when my Aquaman suit was in the laundry, and I had to dress as Iron Man. I felt inadequate. I was essentially a perfect example of ignorance. For if I had read an Iron Man comic, I would have been fascinated by the capabilities of this super hero. I stress capabilities, because unlike Aquaman, who had the superpower to communicate with marine life, Iron Man was a result of the mind and technology.

This knowledge came to me last night after viewing the new Iron Man movie starring Robert Downey, Jr. (an excellent job as the superhero I must say) and Gyneth Paltrow (oh what a versatile and adorable actor she is).

Essentially, I learned that Iron Man is pretty bad ass. He can fly, shoot, and think.

I now feel a lot better about those red briefs with the gold waistband. Yeah, I could have kicked Superman's butt instead of just acting like his human shield as we fought the bad guys.

Oh well, I'll sleep well tonight knowing Iron Man is in the basement.

Look, listen, feel, (and fight the bad guys),
Ostrich